This is why church says carving 'Nan' on grave stones is not allowed

Close relatives of Maureen Buckle, who died aged 80, have already scattered her ashes on the family plot at the churchyard of All Saints Church in Eight Ash Green.

Daughter Kim Greenley, 59, says she wants to change her dad’s gravestone to include her mum, but has been blocked in her attempt to have the word Nan carved into the stone.

This move comes despite the fact Maureen was known as Nanny Buckle to her 14 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren.

Tesco worker Kim, from Colchester, said: “My mum would be absolutely furious that something as simple as Nan is being rejected, that’s how my mum was known.

“If she were here now and she could see what is going on she would go mental.

“If it were my dad’s grave and we weren’t allowed ‘Dad’ on there she would take it all the way and get it changed.

“Her ashes have been scattered at my Dad’s grave and it is like we are being held hostage by the church.”

Grieving daughter: Kim Greenley is appealing for the church to permit the message

Kim says the church has said the family must pay £300 to appeal the decision.

“The fact they want us to pay £300 for an appeal that I don’t think we will win is disgusting,” she said.

“What a cheek to hit someone for money when they are grieving – it is like a grief tax – disgraceful and there are no guarantees.

“The diocese says we can’t have the word Nan as it is not in their handbook but I went down there and looked and they have Nan, Nannie and Great Nannie.

“They say we can have Grandma, Granny or Grandmother but my Mum wasn’t known as that.”

A diocese spokesman said the guidelines governing churchyards were subject to a “complex combination” of law and rules.

He added: “We are extremely sorry for the family’s loss and fully understand their wish to add this inscription.

"Alongside the Vicar of All Saints Church, we have been working closely with the family and have offered them support to make an application to do this work.

"Whilst rules governing churchyards can help to preserve them as places of calm and beauty, those rules have evolved over many centuries and are a complex combination of Common Law, Church of England Canon Law, Acts of Parliament and rules set by the Diocesan Chancellor.

"Unfortunately, this means that the process for making changes to headstones can be complex and we understand that this can be very frustrating. 

"By continuing to support the family, we hope to help them reach a satisfactory conclusion very soon."