“WHY is the blame put on us women?”
In 2017, a woman was raped by a man who offered to walk her home.
The next day, the victim, who is from Colchester but wishes to remain anonymous, was lying alone on a forensic bed whilst two officers took tests and photos of her bruised and blood-spattered body.
And still, she felt like she had to apologise.
“It’s the most humiliating thing you can ever go through. I remember saying ‘I’m so sorry you have to do this’, and they said: ‘No don’t apologise’ but I felt like I had to because it’s not anything you expect someone to do.”
After not being able to shower following the ordeal she felt as though she had to wash the shame away.
“I just stood in the shower for a good hour. It sounds silly but I wanted to wash the shame away. I felt naive to think that I could trust a random person to walk me home and it shouldn’t be that way. I trusted somebody and I felt completely ashamed and violated.”
But despite weeks of collecting evidence, tests and interviews, eight months after the rape was reported a police officer told her the case was being dropped.
“They made that call themselves, they didn’t even think to ask me about it.
“If they had come to me and said we do not think this will hold up in court I could have gone away and thought about it but it isn’t their call to make. It is me it happened to.”
It was recently reported just one in 62 rape cases recorded by police in England and Wales last year led to charges.
Now, this victim is calling for more to be done for victims of sexual assault.
“Women don’t even feel comfortable to walk alone these days.
“If this does happen to women or men, there needs to be more support in place because I felt so alone afterwards.”
She added: “I had two children to look after, I couldn’t even do that. My mum had to look after them.
“I did not want to be here anymore. I thought well no-one is helping me so what is the point?
“There needs to be more support because that was a complete failure on the support system.
“If I went back to when it happened, I don’t think I would have reported it. I put myself through all the trauma, leaving my children for days on end.It’s a lot of heartache and in my eyes it wasn’t worth it.”
After reporting the incident, the police referred her to CARA, the Centre for Action on Rape and Abuse in Colchester, but she says she was not contacted for six weeks and only saw them twice during the eight month long investigation.
This victim is also calling for better CCTV systems to be in place in the town centre.
“The CCTV from the cameras in town are shocking, the images are so vague to try and identify a person.
“If those cameras were clearer this person could have been identified.”
Although four years later she hasn’t let the trauma consume her life, the legacy still lingers.
“This needs to be subject that isn’t taboo, and people shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about it, I find talking about it does help in the long run.”
Det Supt Neil Pudney of Essex Police said: “Investigations into rape and sexual abuse are often lengthy and complex and we cannot underestimate the psychological toll they take on the victims.
“In reporting their concerns, victims have to relive their trauma. The bravery it takes to come forward is immense.
“Our detectives and police staff in our sexual abuse investigation teams who work tirelessly and with great compassion to support and safeguard victims and bring perpetrators of these abhorrent crimes to justice.
“In the 12 months to the end of April this year, nearly 4,900 sexual offences were reported to us and more than 2,000 of those were reports of rape.
“This indicates people are confident in coming forward to us.”
CARA said it provides a range of specialist services for victims and survivors of sexual violence and child sexual abuse. Services include support through the criminal justice process, specialist counselling for adults and young people, play therapy for children under 12, support for families and group work.
Victims and survivors can make an online referral through the CARA website www.caraessex.org.uk or call 01206 769795.
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