A VICTIM of historic sexual abuse has shared her story in the hopes of encouraging others to come forward.
The woman, who is now in her 30s, was repeatedly raped and sexually assaulted between the ages of 12 and 15.
Her abuser has just been locked up for more than a decade following an extensive investigation by Essex Police’s Quest team.
The woman, whose name Essex Police have changed to Julia, said she lived with the “guilt and shame” for 20 years and felt like she’d been punished for what had happened.
She carried the mental scars into adult life, affecting her marriage, with the birth of her first child triggering panic attacks and nightmares.
Julia decided to contact police after falling pregnant with her second child.
She said: “I was looking up historic cases online and I thought it was my last chance to gain control of something I’d harboured and kept to myself for 20 years. I couldn’t keep a lid on my feelings.
“I’d been building it up every morning when I was at work, and just thought that I’d got to do this. I sat in the car, had a little cry, and made the call.”
After contacting the Quest team, Julia sadly lost her baby. This prompted her to press on with the case.
“I had a miscarriage. I was sitting in hospital thinking that this is an awful time, so I might as well deal with everything that’s bad in my life,” she said.
Julia called Det Con Jane Egerton and said she was ready to progress with the case.
“I still remember the drive to go and meet Jane. She was so compassionate.
“After I gave my statement things happened very quickly. Jane and Shirley [Det Sgt Shirley Cole had done so much work.
“I got the phone call to say they were going to arrest him on my wedding anniversary.”
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Julia said Det Con Egerton was in frequent contact and almost had a sixth sense for when she was in need of reassurance.
“I felt comfortable that I was talking to someone who understood and believed me,” she said.
“I didn’t feel like I was having to prove something. Both her and Shirley have been so comforting.”
Despite all the support she received, Julia said it was difficult to maintain a sense of normality whilst the case was ongoing and she felt “exhausted” during the process.
She said: “Even when it was happening, you begin to build a double-faced life.
“There’s the darkness and awfulness of what’s happening, but you still have to get up and go to school and meet up with friends.
“That continued into my adult life. It still something I’m working on.
“I’ve spent my whole life building this false ‘I’m OK’ exterior when I’m not.
“I still remember when I started a job about ten years ago, I would stand in the lift every morning, tell myself that nobody knows, and put my face on.
“It concretes that you’re having to live as two people.”
When the case came to court, Julia said the preparatory work Det Con Egerton and Det Sgt Cole did with her was vital.
“I’ve gone from telling two people to standing up and sharing it in a roomful of people,” she said.
“We had a unanimous jury and I just kept thinking, ‘Everybody believes me.’
“The biggest reason I saw it through was the support I got from Jane and Shirley and the wider team. I can’t even put into words how much I thank them.
“I’m thankful he was found guilty and the sentence is substantial enough so that in a couple of years I don’t have to prepare for him coming out.
“He took my childhood, my innocence away and replaced it with fear, hate and lifetime worth of angst.
“He’s been found guilty, I was believed, and it’s long enough that I don’t have to worry. I can build myself back up.
“Now I feel like I don’t have to be ashamed of what happened to me; he needs to be ashamed. Now everybody knows what he did.”
Julia hopes that by sharing her story, she’ll encourage other victims to come forward.
She said: “If anyone is in my situation, they’ll be able to Google this and it will give them some hope. If somebody else can relate to my story and take that first step by contacting the police, then that’s a good thing.”
Essex Police have urged victims of crime to contact the 101 online service or by calling 101. If you believe you are in immediate danger call 999.
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