AGAIN and again, Paul Filtness got his hopes up that the day of the court case had arrived.
The case which centred on a brutal, unprovoked attack which left him scarred for life. The case which would see the stranger who assaulted him face justice.
The case which would enable him to finally move on.
But again and again, he was let down.
His physical wound, a 2cm-deep cut spanning 15cm from his temple to his chin, was well-treated by medics and, three years on from the attack, has begun to fade. But he still carries the mental scarring with him.
His dad, 61-year-old year old Paul senior, from Colchester, said: "This is the way he describes it: He packs it away in a backpack and it's tucked away, so it's always there, but it's out of sight.
"Then, when something comes along which reminds him, it drags it all back out again and every time it gets harder and harder to put it away.
"It got to a point where he didn't believe it was actually going to happen.
"Even on the day, driving up to Chelmsford Crown Court, he was saying it's not going to happen. We knew he was in jail, we knew he was on remand, but still.
"Even afterwards, he asked 'Did that really happen?'
"I said 'It's not over Paul, it's a chapter that's closed'."
Paul junior, now aged 38, was on a night out with his best friend Daniel Findlay, in Clacton, in February 2019.
The pair were in good spirits, but the atmosphere shifted when the pair met Zachary Jagger, 27, in the toilets of Bentley's Bar.
The briefest of words were exchanged. Shortly after the attack, Paul said: "One turned around and said ‘What did you say mate?’
“My friend said ‘I’m washing my hands and walking out that door'.
“We headed out the door and as we came out Dan was in front of me.
"I felt someone barge past me and felt a scratch down the side of my face."
Jagger attacked Paul from behind with a homemade weapon - a sharp belt which he had drawn from his waist and wrapped around his wrist.
Paul senior picked up the phone to the late-night call no parent wishes to receive.
Recalling that night, he said: "We got a phone call from his best friend Dan, they've known each other since they were about six-years-old, he used to live next door when we lived in Clacton.
"The whole thing has affected him as well. He felt helpless on the night.
"We got this call saying Paul is in hospital, he's been attacked.
"We went round the corner to Colchester Hospital and there he was laying in bed with this gaping wound. Daniel's there, the police are there, it was all chaotic that night."
Paul junior was moved to Addenbrooke's Hospital, in Cambridge, for specialist surgery.
"It was quite strange, what the surgeon said," his dad said.
"He said he was fortunate in so much as whatever the implement was used to cut him, it was that sharp it was a very clean cut, not like it would have been with a bottle or a jagged edge.
"He said it was almost like a scalpel incision, it was that deep that in some respects it made it better for Paul, because it was easier for the surgeons to work on."
He pauses before adding: "I remember sitting there watching him being sewn up, and I never, ever, ever want to see that again."
Paul senior and his partner of more than 40 years, Sue, recall feeling disbelief when they were first told to go to the hospital.
"Paul was never that sort of person, he genuinely wasn't," he said.
"If someone said he'd broken his leg playing football or the silly bugger had been messing about down the seafront... when he was a kid we were always up at Clacton Hospital because he was always jumping off something.
"But to be attacked in this way? Absolutely not."
Paul senior said his son, who is a father to two children, aged 13 and 11, became a different person in the year after the attack.
"The toll it's taken on Paul and the family," he said.
"There was a point when he nearly got sectioned in Christmas 2020 as he had a complete breakdown.
"He ended up living with us because he just couldn't cope with life. He tried to go back to work and that was very hit and miss, how somebody changed from the person you know, just because of this one night.
"The physical scarring now, if you saw him, because he's got a beard you'd have to look hard.
"But he thinks it's a beacon flashing on the side of his face."
Paul senior is full of praise for the mental health crisis team at Colchester Hospital, with Paul junior then receiving daily home visits for around six weeks.
He still undergoes counselling sessions and his mental health is improving.
"He is much, much better," said his dad.
"You certainly notice the moods, you're going along and everything seems to be fine then you notice something - just the tone of voice, a look in his eye and you can tell he's not a good place.
"Sometimes we've had to have some difficult conversations with him. Fortunately we are a close-knit family, we are strong."
Jagger was jailed for six years, with an extended four year term on licence, at Chelmsford Crown Court earlier this month.
The case took three years to reach a conclusion, in part because the offender initially denied the attack before changing his plea.
Detective Sergeant Dan Jeffries, who led the police investigation, said: “Jagger committed a truly violent and unprovoked attack, where he assaulted a complete stranger enjoying his night out with a friend.
“His actions left Paul with life-long physical and emotional injuries, which rippled out to his family and friends and left a lasting impact on the Clacton community.
“I want to thank him for his strength and determination in supporting this case through to the courts, and I know he will want to thank his friends and family for their support.
“I hope this allows Paul to start the next chapter in his life, knowing that the person responsible is behind bars.”
Reflecting on Jagger's sentence, Paul senior said: "If I had been in court and that had been my son, I would have been mortified and so ashamed that my son would be involved in anything like that and actually do that to a person."
During the interview, Paul senior calls his son, who speaks candidly while he goes about his work as a painter and decorator.
He said his life has improved thanks to the treatment he has received, even to the extent he was able to attend a recent stag do in Edinburgh.
"If I sit around and do nothing, it's going to beat me and that's something I don't want to do," he said.
"It's took me a long time to get to that attitude, with help and medication, and I still have some days where I don't want to talk to anyone. On those occasions I just need a bit of time to process the things in my head."
After the call, Paul senior looks up from his phone.
"It's just a shame that you're going to having this conversation with another parent," he said.
"It's going to continue on, there's no answer is there?
"Nobody is going to learn from any of this. People will continue to take weapons out, people will continue to do this sort of stuff for whatever reason.
"It's not a horrible world, it's a wonderful world we live in. But there's just this part of it, this underlying part, which is coming more and more to the surface and it's just such a shame."
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