Colchester man died at Southend Hospital after going missing

Michael Millar, 34, from Colchester, died at Southend Hospital in June – one month to the day after he was reported missing.

His grieving partner, Louise Jacobs, 33, lost her “soul mate and the love of her life”.

She said: “He had been struggling for years, but more so since February.

“I would ask if everything was okay and he would always reassure me and just say he was tired.

“If life got tough for him, he would go missing, but he would come back within a few days.

“He had struggled with a lot of things he hadn’t dealt with since his mum passed.

"Sadly, he failed to show up on social services’ radar and was let down by so many people and organisations as a young teen.”

Michael Millar (Image: Louise Jacobs)

After Michael went missing, Louise posted pictures across social media sites and even followed up on a few reported sightings.

But the time she reached his last known location, he had already moved on.

“I did this for three weeks, at all hours of the day and night, including at 2am,” she said.

Louise received the devastating call reporting Michael’s death on June 22.

The coroner’s service is awaiting a toxicology report before establishing a cause of death.

Louise said Michael suffered with occasional drink and drug problems, and “sadly those demons would occasionally take over”.

But she described him has “hardworking, intelligent, genuine, kind and helpful”.

Louise and Michael (Image: Louise Jacobs)

Michael was studying engineering at the Open University at the time of his death.

Louise said: “I have problems with my spine and hips, and there's been times he's had to be my carer and help me shower and dress.

“He was there for me always.

“Sadly, if his demons took over when things got tough he would leave to go and drink his pain away.

“He suffered with mental health problems in silence. He would never admit nor discuss his struggles.”

Michael had no immediate family to help with the costs of a funeral, leaving Louise to foot the bill.

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She was left overwhelmed by the charitable response of supporters when she reached out for help.

“I had a huge response and one wonderful lady from Access Dignity Care donated £1,000,” she said.

“A wonderful celebrant Angie Jones offered to do the service for free.

“Plus the absolutely fantastic funeral directors John J Smith upgraded their services free of charge.”

Michael’s funeral was held in August, with a crematorium transformed into a “sea of red” to mark his favourite colour.

The funeral of Michael Millar (Image: Louise Jacobs)

“He was a natural with horses and adored by horses and dogs,” said Louise.

“One of our ponies Truffles led his funeral procession, closely followed by his dog Whizer, my family, his cousins and our closest friends.”

Louise has a simple message for all men struggling with their mental health.

“No man should feel less of a man if they need to admit they're struggling, or need help, or are feeling low, or just can't take things anymore,” she said.

“It's perfectly okay to be a man and admit you need help, or feel low.

“Mike was very proud and had a big ego, but he let this get in the way.”

She added: "We had a brilliant relationship, we laughed and joked, we were about to move into our first rented place together.

“We were even looking at wedding venues and wedding dresses, we even spoke about trying for kids in the new year once settled in our home.

“In just six weeks I went from looking at wedding dresses, to looking at a dress to wear to his funeral.”