WHEN Ann Oakes-Odger called the hospital praying for good news after her son was stabbed, she was already rushing to the scene.
And when Mel Hopwood was told her 16-year-old was in a critical condition after being knifed, she too jumped in the car and raced to the hospital.
Yet for both, their journeys would end in unimaginable heartache. In their words, they were to join the “grieving mums club”.
For Ann, the agony began when her son Westley, 27, was murdered at a cashpoint in Greenstead, Colchester, in September 2005.
Despite overhearing hospital staff on the phone saying he had died, Ann felt if she could make it to her son’s side she’d be able to save him.
When the tragic reality of the situation was revealed, her life was changed forever.
“I was in absolute shock, in fact the shock carried on for such a long time that my hair fell out and my toenails dropped off,” said Ann.
“The shock used to hit me several times a day for many years and he is still the first thing I think of in the morning and many times during the day.
“For a long time I used to see him down the road. I would see young boys who looked like him on the street.
“But I would look away when I got closer as I didn’t want the reality to hit that it wasn’t Westley.
“It doesn’t [get easier] because the one thing any family that has sadly had a child’s life taken to violence knows is that it is not a normal bereavement.”
Mel, from Harlow, was going about her day when she got a phone call saying her son Tommy Jones, 16, had been stabbed in London during a trip with his cousin.
The knife wound pierced his heart and broke his rib cage after a fight broke out outside a pub.
Mel said: “I drove from Harlow to Newham Hospital where I had to wait patiently for hours for them to come out and tell me that Tommy had passed.
“It just destroyed my family. That was the moment my whole life changed.
“It never gets any easier, you just have to learn to live with it. 17 years ago my son was killed but we still live it every day.
“It is the family that has to live the life sentence.”
Both Mel and Ann were speaking to the Gazette during the launch event of the Knife Angel in Colchester.
The arrival of the 27 foot sculpture, which comprises of more than 100,000 knives, is the culmination of their determined campaigning.
The duo have become close friends, taking solace in their mutual understanding of their grief.
Yet it is obvious they would rather have never met - their paths never brought together by the heartbreak of what happened to their children.
“We are in a club no one wants to be in and once you’re in it you can never get out: the grieving mums club,” said Mel.
Ann added: “But once you join this awful club all you can think of is making some good come out of what is an awful tragedy.”
Since the deaths of Westley and Tommy, the duo have campaigned vociferously to give judges tougher sentencing powers on those arming themselves with knives.
They also helped to oversee the creation of the Knife Angel and its arrival in Colchester for the duration of this month.
Both Mel and Ann hope the sculpture’s haunting yet moving appearance will drive home a serious message to those who lay their eyes upon it.
Ann said: “I think that lots of young people don’t understand death and they think they are invincible.
“To me, everyone is politically correct when it comes to talking about knives. They’re afraid of frightening people.
“We are trying to educate to prevent people from being in a situation where they might think ‘I need to carry’.
“It is something I do because it makes some purpose come out of an awful situation.
“The angel can be quite a controversial statue but from my point of view it opens a dialogue and dialogue is always a good thing.”
Mel wrote a message on one of the knives factored into the statue in tribute to Tommy.
She said: “When I saw it put together I thought it is a powerful, powerful piece and it makes such a vibe and turns on a switch when you see it.
“To host it here in Colchester is on another level. It is above all my expectations from when I started campaigning.
“People need to put down their weapons and stop the violence. It is not the answer.
“It doesn’t get you anywhere and it’s not going to make you big.”
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