"It was too hard to look at photos or talk about J-Jay."

When brave Colchester boy J-Jay Wood died after an 18 month battle with inoperable cancer his family's lives were turned upside down. 

The youngster, who was just ten, became the heart of a touching story of bravery and resilience after his diagnosis with clear cell sarcoma in 2021.

His tumour, lodged in his pelvis and extending to the base of his spine and left hip, ruled out any possibility of surgery.

Sally, who lives in Sible Hedingham, has spoken candidly about her memories of J-Jay, their bond, and the help she has received during the grieving process.

She said: "At one point, I was just going through the motions, struggling through each day and without seeing any light at the end of the tunnel.

"It was too hard to look at photos or talk about J-Jay."

However, through the grief, Ms Ruggier found solace in remembering and honouring her grandson's memory. 

She was offered bereavement support by East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices (EACH) which had helped care for J-Jay.

J-Jay underwent numerous rounds of chemotherapy and even experienced a brief phase where the tumour seemed to shrink.

However, the relief was short-lived.

Shortly thereafter, J-Jay and his parents, Marie and Michael, were introduced to EACH.

It was at EACH's centre, The Treehouse, and at their home — per J-Jay's preference — that they received the care and support they needed during these trying times.

J-Jay's passing in November 2022 was a profound blow to his grandmother.

Yet, even amid the pain, she sheds light on the immense help of bereavement counselling and support.

She said: "You don’t expect to outlive your children and you certainly don’t expect to outlive your grandchildren.

"If I close my eyes, I can still hear him saying ‘love you nanny’ and I have voice messages on my phone which I still listen to sometimes.

"I’m so proud of J-Jay. I have memories and photos everywhere, including a cushion with his face on which I sit with every day.

"Now I’m able to laugh and smile when I remember him and that’s definitely in part due to my counselling. It’s really helped me."

J-Jay's story, tragic as it may be, has inspired Sally and her family to give back.

Despite her own health complications, having been diagnosed with blood cancer a month prior to J-Jay's diagnosis and hospitalised with sepsis when J-Jay passed away, Sally and her family have become steadfast EACH fundraisers.

The family, under the banner of J-Jay’s Turtles, successfully raised £1,150 during a recent event, the Piglet Junior Hog.

While Sally couldn't participate due to her health, she was an eager cheerleader.

She said: "I stood by the finish line and loved cheering them on.

"It’s a brilliant event and, as a family, we want to raise as much as we can for EACH.

"It’s our way of repaying the hospice for all the care and support we received."

Sally's resilience is a testament to her love for her grandson.

In remembering J-Jay, she said: "He’ll always be my little squirrel, which is what I called him after watching him chew food one day."

His bravery has left an indelible mark on his family — a legacy which continues to inspire and give back in his memory.

Sally added: "He was an old soul – an old head on young shoulders – and, as a family, we’ll always be grateful for EACH’s support."