IT would be hard to meet someone more positive and happy as Ocean WhiteHawk (sic).

When we met, the 47-year-old mum-of-one wrapped her arms around me in a big hug, immediately banishing the awkwardness and formality that can arise at first meetings.

She refuses to look at the negatives in life and always focuses on the good that can come from a situation.

It is not an easy thing to do, so to help women along Ocean has written a book, Juicy Woman, with anecdotes and little gems of adivce.

She says changing your thought processes takes time and digging deep inside yourself.

“Women tend to undervalue themselves and don’t really believe in their intrinsic greatness,” said Ocean. “The culture we are living in at the moment promotes and propogates that youth is glory. Women are afraid of growing old and don’t see the worth of our wisdom, which we get when we age.

“I love the fact I am nearing 50 and I enjoy my life more now than I did in my twenties.”

Ocean, who lives in Thorpe-le-Soken, is adamant that women, and people in general, should not see themselves as a victim of life, but an architect who can design and shape what they want to be. It may seem like asking for the impossible to some people who have lived through tough times, but Ocean talks from first-hand experience.

Born in Malaysia, her Chinese parents separated when she was one and she went to live with her mother, while her father took custody of her older sister and two brothers.

Ocean, whose birth name was Choy Lai Quien, was often looked after by her mother’s friends while her mother worked, sometimes for months away at a time.

However, the relationship with her mother was not a loving one and when her mother remarried they moved to the city and her mother told Ocean to call her aunty.

Her stepfather, while promising to ensure Ocean received a good education, started mentally and physically abusing her, often beating her and even dunking her head-first into a large bucket of water.

When she was 16 the abuse threatened to turn sexual and Ocean ran away to live with her father, who took her on as an apprentice in Chinese medicine.

Thanks to her father’s positive attitude and some sage advice, Ocean was able to turn her anger towards her stepfather into compassion and although she never saw her mother, who has since died, she was able to see her stepfather before he died and tell him she felt no malice towards him.

She moved to England and set up her own retail business, met a man who adored her and was doing well, until the day she woke up and realised there was something missing. That was when she began her training in the spiritual arts such as Shiatsu, meditation and Psych-K, a psychology and kinesiology method which allows the client to reprogramme negative beliefs in their subconscious into positive ones.

When she changed her name to Ocean WhiteHawk she said it felt like a natural transition, something that was meant to be.

Ocean, who is a vice president of the Women’s Institute Girls in Colchester, has also set up a charity ConfidentWoman, which offers women with limited financial means free coaching sessions to help develop their confidence.

The book itself was ten years in the making and was originally aimed at men and women.

But Ocean explained: “Many women feel they are at the bottom of the list. Being aware of this I wanted my first book to be for women.”

And she is confident anyone, whether they are self-harming, in troubled relationships or suffer from low confidence, can transform their lives for the better.

“We are architects of our lives, not victims. If you don’t like the look of your life go back to the drawing board and redesign it. Learn about who you are - discover your passion.”

l Ocean’s book, Juicy Woman, a spiritual guide to your feminine radiance, will be launched on May 10 at an event at Lexden Wood Golf Club. For more information, visit www.oceanwhitehawk.com