Tory selectors have dramatically backtracked and invited Teresa Gorman to re-join the race for Mayor of London, the MP has revealed.
But the Billericay backbencher has told exclusively how she decided not to stand, arguing she did not want to be rejected for a second time.
Hours earlier opposition leader William Hague, who is in charge of the selectors, said Mrs Gorman was out of the race and that democracy had taken its course.
The latest twist comes after Mrs Gorman fired off an angry letter to the selection panel last week, furious at her original rejection as a candidate for London's top job.
She said she applied because she felt strongly in favour of clause 28, which prohibits the active promotion in lessons of homosexuality. Days later the Tory selection panel did a U-turn, she claimed today, when a member contacted her.
She said: "I was phoned and asked whether I wanted to go back on the list. I decided I didn't because I made my point on the issue of clause 28. If I was competing with Steven Norris I didn't want the indignity of being rejected a second time.
"I know I got a lot of public sympathy for my stand, so I am waiting to see what will happen next."
Mrs Gorman said she was disappointed with the behaviour of the panel. She added: "It is a club that is in such a mess I don't want to join."
Tory leader William Hague spoke to This Is Essex during a visit to the county - a day after Mrs Gorman had been invited to re-apply.
He said: "I think it has been dealt with properly. I believe in local democracy. It is very important for the activists to make this decision and, of course, they will make decisions that are sometimes controversial.
The committee did not want to put her further forward even if her local constituency did - sometimes you lose."
Mr Hague, speaking after a dinner for local Conservatives at the Heybridge Hotel in Ingatestone, went on to praise Mrs Gorman's role within the party.
He added: "The party has got to choose a candidate. Teresa has brought a great deal to the party and is a valuable colleague of mine, but it is the process."
Mrs Gorman's claims follow yesterday's decision by Conservative Central Office to put MP Steven Norris back on the shortlist of six candidates following complaints from party activists about the original decision to reject the ex-minister.
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