A new travel book is set to spark outrage for labelling townsfolk "the ugliest collection of people in the UK outside Wales."
Freelance journalist Bill Murphy has launched a scathing attack on Braintree and its women in his debut novel due out at Christmas.
The book, which has a working title of A Jaunt Around The Decaying Heart of England, chronicles his two-day stay in the town.
And among the book's outrageous claims are:
Many of the town's women resemble sea monsters.
It is best known for its unmarried mums.
It boasts the most humourless group of people outside Germany.
The only good thing about Braintree is the M11 heading south.
"Almost everyone's expression was grim except for the few young girls on the pull who were yet to become mothers"
Mr Murphy, 33, of east London, also states in the nine-page chapter that Braintree has never recovered from the 1992 recession and "is such a dive that anyone with capital to invest would be best off avoiding it."
He hatched the idea after his friends said most travel writers were too apologetic about criticising the places they visited.
Mr Murphy said: "So much travel writing is overkind. A friend suggested I should visit Braintree and I'll never forgive him for it. I'd never visited the town before and I wish I hadn't. I didn't write anything positive because there wasn't."
Leading town figures rallied to defend Braintree.
District councillor Barbara Buchan said: "At the risk of sounding big-headed, I don't think I look anything like a sea monster. He clearly hasn't given the town a chance.
"Do you think Freeport Leisure would invest millions of pounds in Braintree if it thought the town was in decay?"
Converted for the new archive on 19 November 2001. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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